Underprepared and Overpacked....

And not just for the dig. For several things. I'll try to make my thoughts succinct, clear, and easy to follow. If they are not, shoot me a comment.

1. I brought way too much to this country. While I did not surpass my luggage weight requirements, the things that I needed to survive and to dig were much less than I thought. I love most of you who gave me suggestions but, truthfully, I could have waited to purchase batteries since the charger doesn't work here anyway. I did not even use a fifth of the sunscreen that I purchased because, let's face it, it was pointless for me. A good moisturizer did the trick. I learned to shower once a day, and to make that count, instead of 3 times a day so I used much less soap, shampoo, and other toiletries than I thought. And, for those of you who come after me and decide to dig as well, don't wear long sleeved shirts...well, unless you want to pass out from heat exhaustion. However, I must send out a hearty thank you to K.Baker for giving me that Sigg water bottle! It saved my life on numerous occasions. The spring water from Dan was most refreshing coming from that canister!

To dig, here is the clothing recipe: a t-shirt (the lighter the better), some jeans (watch out for some serious thorns and thistles), tennis shoes or durable but comfortable boots, knee pads (really!!), and a camera. You will really want to take pictures everyday that you are in your area. It helps you mark your progress and instill a sense of group pride in your endeavor.

2. I am an African American. Here I can be Liberian, Nigerian, South African, Indian, and Ghanaian. I am even Rastafarian, or Rasta as I am called here. How hot is that?! I have an ethnicity and it's not just black--a term that can sometimes be so nondescript, so void of meaning that even blacks don't like calling themselves black. And please don't misunderstand me, I know that to be an African American is to take part in a culture that is the result of the strength and sorrow of the African in the United States, is to be a part of the dancing and the singing, and the cooking and the praying. Perhaps it is having a nationality as an ethnicity that made these guesses and assertions on my identity so much fun. They didn't whisper... Nigerian... but said it as though they had existed right alongside every other people group in the world, from the beginning of time. And, it feels good to have a place, even if it is falsely Rastafarian.

3. Who knew that I would be homesick? And not just for the United States or my family in Alabama or Cleveland or my new family in Memphis but for a sense of place and purpose and grounding. I love that in Memphis I am "in transition" and my friends, coworkers, and family all know this. They expect me to move on to do something else. Here, I have not moved beyond being a tourist who "dances like you make sex" and is expected to participate in an economic transaction every time he ventures into the Old City, even if I did only go for the view. I would love to come back here with a purpose: perhaps as a student, perhaps as an ambassador or a diplomat, perhaps as a linguist studying in situ with the speakers of the language. D.Mu! How I miss you and Pho Hoa Binh! How I miss worshipping at The Saint! How I miss my friends and family and Hope and Healing. You all stabilize me in a way that I hadn't realized. I'm sorry for being so ungrateful before. If I have not said it up to this point, thanks.

4. Am I a heathen? How is it that I am in the spiritual nexus for 3 major world religions and all I can comment on is how secular an orthodox city can feel? How can I sing the songs of Zion in a strange land? Where is the outlet for my particular blend of gospel and classical styled singing? Where is the outlet for a black man who enjoys simplicity in one of the busiest cities that I have ever seen? As always, my outcries have to be nuanced to provide a clearer picture. Yes I had conversations with doctoral students, missionaries, Jewish people, Arab Israeli kids, and people from all over the world about God, Jesus, the nature of God, anti-Semitism, and the Jewish-Palestinian conflict. Yes I have been to worship with people from all of the world in a style that attempted to blend Christianity's Jewish ancestry with Anglican church worship (try that on!). Yes I have uncovered and seen material culture that makes real the details of many biblical narratives and has made me that much more intrigued in the Bible as the primary witness of our faith. But, what is troubling me the most is that I don't "feel" anything particular. I see God at work, I know that He is making moves in my life, I trust Him to do something spectacular. But it doesn't feel like anything. I sing because it's the only way I can get it out...and here, I can't find an outlet for my song. Maybe I'll create one...I'll dig the trench, hoe out the dirt, and place in there a couple of terraces that will allow me to have space to connect with God. I have one more day in the Holy City. Pray with me that I work quickly.

5. To Black people in the United States: TRAVEL!! Get out of the country. See what cultural products are being sold abroad and what images of you exist in the world. See yourself outside of the lens of the US--be a citizen of the world!

(Much love and thanks goes out to my family who sacrificed much so that I could be here. I know that it was/is my grandmother's dream to come here. She told me that I got to do it for her. I love all of you...even if after three weeks of being at home I start to go crazy!)